maybe we are alike

  hello,  i got a weird feeling tonight as i'm passing my day with usual stuffs i do, waking up in the morning, studying, going out with new friends there are still bits of me missing the life i had before.  in every way it can be the life with my best friends, life with only my mother, life where i was genuinely loving somebody and i fell hard, the efforts i had wasted, the love i had wasted and people might think im just exaggerating things i felt. but it is what i feel, and i felt like this its sad. that's the only word i can find to be honest. i miss my friends, i miss the life i had before.  we are growing up, and its not gonna stay the same but i just feel like im stuck in the past, longing for the things i had before i lied. i did think of many what ifs. every single day, every single time i can what if we never met, what if i leave sooner, what if you realised it sooner, what if i dont do things like this, what if i dont do that god i really really want to ju...

  hello it's me guess what i feel happier now no longer crying , no longer thinking of what ifs exam season is starting soon  i just hope i can do my best it's an independence day today i dont feel like going out though, i might regret this later but idk i feel fine feeling stuffy in the room it has been a month for me here in dengkil to sum up i just i feel nothing its not i dont like being here and it doesnt mean i love LOVE being here i just feel fine wake up in the morning, go to class, eat, home, study, sleep my mam said i've gotten fat, im not sure if shes joking but  it does point out smtg in me, well yea im a little chubby right now i dont like it either maybe she prefers my f4 dying self, thin and depressed or maybe yet again, shes just joking but rn i feel like i dont want to eat, i dont have the mood for it maybe once a day, thats my plan, like biscuits or bread or anything went out with couple of new friends yesterday and they mentioned about my blog. i honest...

listen to this while reading  Hello it's me, syaf Life right now has becoming happier, full of warmth. I am happy, really. Happier I have ever been.  but i am just so mad There is no love from me to him anymore. I am just so mad. I still remember how painful that night was. my friends do too. how tired my eyes and heart was. i still remember i almost ran out of my breath while i was crying and how i was trying to stop the noise i could make. i will never forget how difficult it was for me and i absolutely will never forget that pain.  you might think im exaggerating but oh my god, i am not. i cried my heart out every night before going to sleep wishing he might think about what he had done to me. and if that wasnt going to help, i did, tell him. what was going on with us . and all he did was to ignore. i guess that was one of his sign telling me that hes bored of me already. oh my god. why on earth is there someone like him . thinking it be right to treat people they " lo...

  hello, it's me. Syaf i was just a fragment in his highschool memories.  i have been told that i was his tiny little fragment in his highschool memories does he think that i was the one who ask for a break up? does he think that i was the one who treated him badly does he fucking think that i was just nothing but as a tiny part in his life which is not anything special at all does he fucking think like that? mind you bitch, im already moving on it was you texting me late at night and begging to get back with me, wanting to continue the relationship that you already break my heart into million of pieces and expect me to take you back ??? i couldnt care less what you wanna do or what you fucking think about me. what i am fucking care is about the way you said my effort loving you, my effort staying with your shitty ass bitchy behaviour are just nothing. cant you even admit that nobody would treat you like how i do, nobody will love you more than i do and you are scared to admit...

  hello, it's me it has been 4 days since im here, so far what i can say is i am just fine. Still working out to make friends, still getting to know our housemates and everything.  My first classes was PACKED. 8 am until 6. maybe that's normal for most of uni students, have i tell you that i am JUST getting in? it was packed and that was my first day of period. LIKE WOMAN'S PERIOD ???????????????? i was having cramps and all but i just eat medicine like how i supposed to, very strongz woman right and then today is my second day of classes, it wasnt that packed like yesterday but definitely made me use my half dead brain that i left in awhile. i learnt physics the base and scalar, at first i was too overconfident like " scalar, base vector ??????" i can do that, i mean thats the easiest in school but then when i actually learn is the "deeper" version of what we learn in highschool ? same goes to maths( addmaths ) and english. we learnt about types of sent...