end of august

 

hello it's me

guess what

i feel happier now

no longer crying , no longer thinking of what ifs

exam season is starting soon 

i just hope i can do my best

it's an independence day today

i dont feel like going out though, i might regret this later but idk

i feel fine feeling stuffy in the room

it has been a month for me here in dengkil

to sum up i just

i feel nothing

its not i dont like being here

and it doesnt mean i love LOVE being here

i just feel fine

wake up in the morning, go to class, eat, home, study, sleep

my mam said i've gotten fat, im not sure if shes joking but 

it does point out smtg in me, well yea im a little chubby right now

i dont like it either

maybe she prefers my f4 dying self, thin and depressed

or maybe yet again, shes just joking

but rn i feel like i dont want to eat, i dont have the mood for it

maybe once a day, thats my plan, like biscuits or bread or anything

went out with couple of new friends yesterday and they mentioned about my blog. i honestly dont care, but it just made me realised then i just wrote basically my life. like no filter, which is scary. because people have minds, and their minds not like mine, they might think differently, everyone would think differently than one another. but idc what they think, its just interesting for me to basically write about my depressive life, ig they can find some lesson to learn, to not be stupid like me yk. 

my classmates are fine, just give it a time i think we be alright

subjects here are fine, i love physics. chem is fine, only it would be so much better with the way of lecturer explains. english is ok,i never like speaking infront anyways. math is good. computer classes r nice 

yea everything is nice here. good life so far