i moved on, really. All i'm sensing is anger that should be burried

listen to this while reading

 Hello it's me, syaf


Life right now has becoming happier, full of warmth. I am happy, really. Happier I have ever been. 

but i am just so mad

There is no love from me to him anymore. I am just so mad. I still remember how painful that night was. my friends do too. how tired my eyes and heart was. i still remember i almost ran out of my breath while i was crying and how i was trying to stop the noise i could make. i will never forget how difficult it was for me and i absolutely will never forget that pain. 

you might think im exaggerating but oh my god, i am not. i cried my heart out every night before going to sleep wishing he might think about what he had done to me. and if that wasnt going to help, i did, tell him. what was going on with us . and all he did was to ignore. i guess that was one of his sign telling me that hes bored of me already.

oh my god. why on earth is there someone like him . thinking it be right to treat people they " love " badly. he wasnt serious, i assumed. but

why do people lie?

arent promises need to be followed ?

it was never meant to be broken 

why do people promise then the next day they do the exact opposite ?

i dont understand. From all i can remember, i will never promise something that i cannot do. because its a promise ??? its a real thing. and dont talk to me about an innocent or mature way. it meant the same thing la, its a promise

do not promise to someone if you dont think you can do it

he promised. he promised me hard. and i believed him. like a fool

and i took that relationship seriously. 3 years. 3 years of commited relationship


the one thing im so mad about is he had the nerve to ask me back. being in the relationship back. just because hes lonely. he doesnt have anyone to talk to. he love me still. hes begging to take him back

fast forward to few days after that, he told me i was just his tiny fragment of his highschool stories that should be forgotten about. 

what ??????????? 

what the fuck ? me????

yea what the fuck did you fucking mean dude

dont you act like the one whos hurting here

i wasnt hurting you, you asked for me to leave ???????? you did

because youre done with me bored with me already.

fuck you amar. i fucking pray your life wont be so much easier after this.


all i fucking wanted from you was just a bit of your time and attention and fucking talk to me properly. sampai macam tu sekali i had to beg for it ? you're someone that you said you love me, shouldnt you be doing whatever fucking thing you said ? 


no im not writing here because i still think about him or whatever. i am just so mad because i wasted my love, my affection to someone who didnt even fucking deserve it. who didnt even appreciate it. i wasted my love, my effort, my attention , my money just for him to be happy ? 

and did he ever think about me

fuck you dude, hope you just suffer in hell



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