blog #81

 

have you ever been in a situation where you could say things, explained things, but you are never been listened to ?

im tired, explaining myself and never ever being listened to. 

I love hard, and i would give everything, to make a person feel loved

why is it so hard being in love, isn't it supposed to be a magical feeling, feel loved and give love to each other.

I love hard, and i don't care what it going to cost me, getting my heart broken by a person I love

I love hard, so easily.

isn't it funny how people can change but never notice it themselves, they would say " no theres nothing changing ", but i noticed. 

i've been here and i noticed, and it hurts because its not a good change.

I'm tired, explaining myself to people to love me, over and over again,

i take notes on how to love, how to make you happy

is it hard to love me the same way i love you

you had been nothing but listening to me

listens to what i want, i love you and i listen, i understand you

why is it so hard to love me 

is it hard to love me, am i the problem

I told you what is bothering me and never let you wonder alone, but instead it be an argument for us, that is initially meant to be a healthy way for us to communicate, you said once i twist my words, do i ?

i feel so unseen, it feels heavy to talk to nobody, nobody is really listening to me

i wanted to talk, dear god to a person i love, him

oh my god, is it my fault

am i forcing anybody to love me, am i hard to love

do i just better off being alone, do i

im seriously tired, explaining myself, why people just dont listen, 

i seek love in friendships. friendships in love,

im tired of talking, im tired be the only person who is talking, im tired planning things for both of us

im not the person who i appear to be, i did it because nobody does it. 

im tired pretending someone im not

it feels like on sided love, where im asking and you just replying. 

tell me if im wrong, tell me im wrong, 

because that's not how you used to be

you made me laugh, happy, loved

now i feel it meant nothing for you anymore, me

a part of me wanting to be silent about my feelings, about this

and getting hurt alone, so that we wont have to fight

tell me if you prefer this way, i've done this again and i can do it again

but i did not think we would be in this kind of relationship

where we are burrying down our botherings just to not have one's hurt and annoyed

but who am i to think, it's all matters for you, not for me

this is the only place i go to, i can't even rant on twitter anymore, please let me have this place, 

safe for me, 

i have to, because nobody is truly listening to me, ranting on here helps me cry.