Oh hi guys, it's me. Ten days in and I am losing it. Every day feels exactly the same, I feel like I am living the exact same day every single day. What is this? I thought the new year would actually bring me some new meanings in life and some new goals. Turns out it isn’t how I thought it would be. I feel shitty, I feel empty, I feel like doing stupid things just to fill the void, filling it temporarily. And then feeling guilty as fuck afterwards. What has gotten into me? I don’t know how to put things into words. These burdening struggles are hard to explain. Maybe it is time to seek help, but I don’t think I have the strength for it. I haven’t been sleeping, haven’t been eating well. Generally just really not minding whether I live or not at this point. But at the same time, I am scared. Scared of things becoming too real, scared that I will get stuck inside this void willingly, and not seek help. It's wonderful how good of pretenders we are. As we are among colleagu...
hi it's me i felt like writing something tonight even if it's not usually my time of writing, i mean before this, yeah now, I just dont have the time for it, and i have a lot to do, a lot assignments, group project to think For the past few weeks i have been busy, busy with my studies, my assignments, works on the club, i even compete to be vice president or secretary for the next semester, it has been so so busy- with back to back event but i feel good, tired- but good. im still trying to figure out how to balance on everything, my relationship, my studies, my hobby for writing still trying to make time for myself, just me, laptop, writing with my headphones on with a volume of 80 because theyre noisy ( roomates/classmates) i applied for a maybank scholarship last semester, and i got an email for me to be in the next assesment, interview thing. Oh i already feel some butterflies in but so excited i want to write more but at the back of my mind, its statistics tutorial, and...
// wrote this over 2 months ago hi everyone it's me yea as per usual, going to start my blog saying- it's been a long time since i've blogged. i miss it, yada yada i am overwhelmed by a lot of different stuff, assignments, my studies everything is fine though, i'm just really busy, that's why i haven't blogged but i always feel the longing to blog, but tonight i can't contain it anymore, can't hold it in anymore sometimes i wonder if the road that i'm taking right now is the best for me or not i wonder what if i had taken the other road, that leads me to a whole lot of different possibilities maybe more problems, maybe fewer problems i've caught myself reminiscing stuff, the one that was probably sent more than a year ago the one that happened earlier this morning the one that happened a month ago sometimes i wonder if the person i'm talking to, like normal people in their own daily life, has the same thoughts as me i wonder, are they really ...
Comments
Post a Comment