birthday

 

i celebrated this one birthday before, hoped that i would continue to celebrate it forever and ever

but i was wrong again, like always

we are over;

it's not that i wasn't happy, and it's not because i was happy.

i was tired asking for love, and he was tired doing things im asking him to do

i had some fun moments, happy moments

but i found that, no matter how much promises you made to a person, there are always reason for them to be broken

we were young 15-18, we practically let each other into our own lives and ranted to each other to lessen the burdens in our minds.

helped each other a lot, fought with each other a lot

until i forgot the good in us, and too consumed with the bad ones

you are a good man, i tried to stayed and proved to myself that you were the one for me

with all those tears and screams, 

my efforts to stay and pretend that you are indeed for me, were just wasted

at first, im mad. im mad over the fact that it was wasted just like that, but i couldn't force you to love me and why would i even force you in the first place ?

but it's alright, it's alright for me now

i made peace with it, and i wouldn't torture myself thinking of anymore " what if's " with you

i pray only the best things for you, on your birthday

im sorry, if i was wrong to stay in our relationship and if you feel forced to love me, 

all i did was just to prove to myself and you; that we can last.

but we are not.

may you are happier without me

happy birthday, amar

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