good luck !

 

Hello everyone, it's syaf

I have been consistent in writing blogs every Saturday in December and .... I thought I can make it for the following months. It turns out, I can't. I can't be consistent every saturday, man. I'm busy . i don't even know what i am so busy for, but i just cant find a time to write on saturday, so it seems

Few days ago I went out with my boyfriend for the first time in weeks, I just love him guys. He is so sweet, I had no money to spend on silly things, but he did spend his money :( i feel bad but it's fine his birthday is around the corner anyways so I'll make it up through his birthday presents. And guys, what do i even give a man presents anyways, it's so harddd. I won't be silly and give him fresh flowers, i won't make a same mistake again. ( though i still stand on my stance that man deserves flowers too, but i dont think they know how to appreciate as it takes a lot of effort to take care of fresh flowers ) okay maybe not all men, but i tried okay... to my ex. I gave my ex fresh expensive flowers and chocolates for his 17th birthday presents and yeah let's just say he did not enjoy it, did not appreciate it as much till he wants to take care of it. And yeah maybe not all man the same and it is true that my current boyfriend right now is the not the same like my ex, but i just can't help but feel like .... it's so silly. I should've gotten fresh expensive flowers... not i yang bagi boyfriend i flowers.. right.... 

anyways, we went on eating my new favourite burger place. NAKNAK . that's the name btw. it's so gooooddddddddd, it's expensive but the portion is big and the water is refillable, hell yeaaa and i was so hungry that day i feel like i want to eat burger AND chicken wings but my boyfriend said i can't finish it and claimed that later he has to finish up my leftover :( the line was so long and the shop was kinda packed with humans eating burgers  and chicken wings sooo he asked me to sit down first and he ordered it for me. TURNS OUT he ordered 1 SET CHICKEN WINGS 1 FRIES 1 BURGER 1 SPRITE, mana cukuppppppp, yea a bit salty cuz why he being a little cheap ass and ordered so little, but i ate and hihi i was kinda full after a burger.....hihi.. OKAYLA it showed that he knew me well ;) we passed lego stores and be like " omgg where bka moneyyyy nak beli legoo "

pastu esok bka money masuk yayayyay

last night, i went out with my housemates for the first time. we just went to have dinner at mamak, which was also very packed with people. almost had a bit of attack but im fine. i guess mamak is the wisest place to bond with people, it just has that good vibes yk. and i just started to break the ice by saying " sape ada boyfriendddd!!!!" hell yeahhh and we went nuts after like theres no awkwardness anymore which is good. so good even. 

oh and i heard news that spm 2023 is in 2 days ??? oh my god where has the time goooo

i feel my spm was like 2 months ago, 18 years old is such a weird yet beautiful age for you to live and grow. it's like you think you already are matured enough for your age but actually you are not, and there are always good reasons of something had happened. I went into so many phases last year, and i did not regret a single bit. I just hope 19 would be a nicer version of me,a little bit more wise, responsible and just generally be kind but knows the limit of it.

and i think i have grown my self confidence lately. i feel pretty, for sure not the kind of pretty i wished for ( yk the typical pretty, when u saw a girl walking across from you and the first thing you have on your mind is " oh my god shes so beautiful " kind of girl) but i am grateful for the tiny bit of self love i have on myself right now. it's nice. 

it's such a shame that i have no juniors that im closed to, because i have so many notes and exercise books and reference books that i can give them. i tried to sell them but ermm... no one bought , at least nobody dm me and say they want to buy... 

I heard from a common friend, qayyum. We had our little catch up session a bit. We talked at anjung and he said something which kind of struck me a bit- he said something like " you always thought you're not  " the popular girl " but you always have been in a situation that only the popular girl has " then i was like ... what the hell are you talking about man. he just be saying that because theres a lot of boys confessed to me in my high school years but we both know damn well that they are not serious, they are not into a serious committed relationship like i want to so... the boys are nothing to be taken serious. But is it going to make me a bad person to even feel... somewhat kind of proud ? not proud because there were a lot of boys confessed, it's just proud because...  i can capable of be loved ? even those boys felt that way... interesting

oh my god this blog is long, initially i wanted to wish good luck for spm takers this year but uhm i've been ranting for too long about some other things. and i am getting sleepy too, its only 10:24 pm but still - my 17 years of life i slept at 10, so im used to it okay

i wish you good luck for upcoming exams, senang je takpe. 

good night people, thank you for reading my boring ass blog.

 it's not boring, if you ask me but for you maybe it is