the end of semester one in dengkil.

hello everyone, it's me syaf

currently sitting on my study table around 11:24 pm - just finished studying for physics final exam tomorrow.

I am doing quite well, i guess. This 2-3 weeks are just me studying for the final exam. Tbh, I am so nervous for it. In  10 days I will be home, enjoying my semester break. I have plans about it already, maybe I'll share it soon

well last week I had my chemistry and mathematics exam. Frankly saying, I thought I was doing quite good on chemistry and mathematics. But my confidence for mathematics ran low. That makes me sad too, considering my group project's carry mark are for sure not as high. I really hope I can do physics well tomorrow. I did 7 past year final exam questions, are they enough for me to understand though

I thought I was going to sleep soon but I remembered I haven't blog in a while. I miss doing this, I miss talking about feelings here. I miss ranting around and not giving a fuck about every single thing what other's might say. I might made new friends here, but no one I truly close to. I guess it is fine. It's good for me, because I get attached too easily and might cannot get over the fact if one day we are not talking anymore. Friends here are nice, housemates are nice. I get to close only with some of my classmates,  the one who I had a group assignment with. They are nice. I want to be close with them but idk, ig appearance are important. They often asked if im mad or have problems, in fact i do not. i just look this way and somehow it did offend me a little bit. I started to think that maybe- people just scared to be seen or to be friends with me, just because i have a bitchy face. I might have bitchy face, but not a bitchy attitude ??? 

over the semester break soon, I'll meet my bestfriends in high school. I'm excited and nervous at the same time. I'm scared when I listen to their stories soon about their new friends, new bestfriends that they made in their own study place. It's so good for them to get new friends and seeing other amazing people out there- im just scared saying i have nobody really that im close to here. 

I swear i am introverted kind of people, but once we get along, it'll be worth it. 

often im seeing pretty girls, cute girls here, they are quite. That's who I want to be. When people look at you for the first time, and the thoughts are going in their head is " what a beautiful, well mannered girl". what i heard from people talking about their first impression to me is otherwise, they said i look judgy, i look mean, scary to be approached, But i cannot blame them for what they say truly. Not everybody has second thought in first impressions of others. 

if i can describe my life in dengkil in one word i would say, sweet. I met sweet people, sweet classmates. its so fast paced but i signed up for it. i only hope my results are just like my expectations this time

I'm gonna be home in 10 days, yet i feel like I only spend 10 days here. I might actually start crying. 

I think that's all for this week's blog

i hope i can be consistent after this, since I have free time 

be happy, readers because one of us should.