a daily rant


a month since I updated my blog

and its like few days before spm- like 10 days more?

you know, I should've blogged my entire form Five life here 

but I just- idk man, I'm just busy as fuck

it is fine, I can blog about it after I am done with my spm


the reason that I'm writing is because lately I am just so pissed off. With everyone I know. My friends, my boyfriend. I just feel like I'm so mad at them until I wanna kill them over and over again. 

my life right now is a mess and im fucking tired of feeling like this. bodoh sial

aku nak spm, pastu rasa macam ni, apa yang babi sangat


isnt it logical to do something nice, if someone is doing nice to you ?

why does some people need to think that being bad and inconsiderate and selfish and making people hurt is cool

it does not even fucking cool

what the fuck is cool about that ?

making someone feel hurt when all they did is just want to be there beside you and trying to understand and love you for every seconds no matter what you did before or what  you doing now?


why on earth does some people behaving like they deserve to receive every attention in the whole world. making everybody focusing on you just because youre doing some fucking cute cringy stuffs and making the high pitch voice that makes my blood boil


i fucking dont get it

if someone do nice things to you, treat you well, show they care about you and stuffs

why on earth people dont do the same ?

is their existence just trying to please everyone? make everyone feel happy but not them ?

i find it so weird when i dont talk to people first, they just dont talk to me. if whatver happens, I would go and ask them and pujuk them to let them know that im here. am i expecting too much or im just dumb bitch. i expect too much from people ? its my fault that im not the one who talks first ? they dont even bother to know and ask properly about me, they dont even care. and if they think making someone feel left out is just gonna make things better, then they are fucking crazy. 


talk about boyfriend. im fucking tired. yea sure there were happy times, but over and over all of the fights, he didnt even learn anything. am i asking too much ? why cant  be a human who talks and explains properly to people ? by saying like stupid and dumb stuffs, it just gonna make people feel mad. i dont get it. you dont want people to be mad and nag at you. Do you think people even want to get mad at you ? DO you think people gonna nag for all the fights? Do you think people are actually gonna stay if you keep making them feel hurt or whatsover ? i fucking dont get it? you dont want people to be mad and nag? then dont make them?? when people asking you nicely, talk to you nicely, are you supposed to response to make jokes ? to make stupid jokes which you are the one that thinks is a joke but not everyone ? i thought my high level patience will get some reward like you treat me right or whatever. but its just make me feel like my patience not even worth it. 

are you bored of me? are you used to see my face everyday ? 

5500 fights and you still dont know what to do ?

thats just bullshit

you say i nagged a lot , i be mad a lot

you know why?

because im explaining to you over the same thing every single fights. and im tired of it but im not giving up. and YEA, there is an attitude there. im fucking tired explaing what should you do and stuffs and when we having fights , you fucking told me you dont know what to do ?

isnt that gonna make me to just kill myself

about schools

im fucking tired

tired and i just want this to be over

i fucked up my chem amali

fuck


im so mad right now i just typing aggresively on my keyboard


true, by the end of the day, you only have yourself. even if you always be there for a someone, doesnt mean theyre gonna understand you no matter how you forced them to be. but thats just sad. and pathetic. seems like they gonna have to beg for people to at least have a sympathy, to at least care about them. 

thats just sad  




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