bye november


hello , it's me . 

It's the end of the year 

almost one

I'm feeling a bit emotional these days ( specifically today )

It's nothing , i guess but 

you know you can lie to the whole world , but you can't lie to yourself right ?


I just realized ,  all I ever have to do is to accept things

Acceptance 

It didn't work out even you put so much effort or so much love 

The thing in life is you won't always get what you want to 

Maybe He got a better plan

yep , that's it , what I am going to do now is to accept. 


My whole year is basically a phase of me trying to understand that things sometimes don't work out . 

I don't understand it till now

I even tried to congratulate myself every single month 

pretending that everything is okay 

just like normal 

and nothing is wrong



I don't even know what is my fault

Which part of me that you didn't like

I can change , i even said if theres anything i could do to fix this , i will


Was it my fault to be so attached ? 

Is it my fault

Did I annoyed you so much ?

I don't even know why the hell was this happening

Did I say something wrong ?

tell me , i can change


I just want to know why


I'm sorry if I ever said anything that hurts your heart , did something wrong , annoyed you too much 


Apart from that, I just focused on my studies . My November is just like any other month .

Acceptance , that's all I have to keep in mind


Probably most people find this dramatic but I can't help it

It's better for me to say it here rather than i talked to people

please let me have this small space for me to talk

about me  

please , let me be

please


I just want to look every single time

every single time  

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