bye august

 hello , its me

i hope everyone is doing alright,

feeling okay

Its been a month since i updated my last blog

nothing interesting happenss yet

well . .  i dont know what is interesting to me anymore , for real

today i heard some news ,  one of them shocked me , pretty sure it doesnt involve me in it 

but i feel 

hurt 

in a place or in a situation that I am not in

but it is close

to me

I dont know if it even matters to me 

i dont know

but it seems like , everyday i have to keep reminding myself that not everything in this world I could get or I could have. Maybe the ones that left will bring the other ones that will fill my days with , together . I lost my loved ones way before I understand what life is, way before I understand what lost means , and it's traumatizing for little me , maybe because I dont have anyone to talk to at that time so I will just pretend that that is fine . .  which is not fine , oh god im crying , over the years i grew up  i keep losing and losing and losing the people i love , and i thought everything will be fine if i just pretending that theyre not gone , theyre here , but  when reality hits you , at one random point  i feel all alone .

maybe thats why when someone wants to enter my life and says that they want to be with me , i got very happy and  got very attached and i dont want them go eventhough there are thousands of reasons theyll have to eventually go. or maybe thats just me 


august is just the same as the other months , im grateful Im still alive , hoping for a great september 


 



 



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