probably gonna leave it here bcs i wont mention this week's blog in anywhere else, so if you find this then congrats! u have to read my breakdown

theres this one line :

" don't act like I didn't fight for us , I did and for a long time "

and I found that is so fitting in any kind of relationship .

i had one hahah my very first one but it's not worked that well

i think i failed . in many ways . i failed knowing him , i failed to have the same interest with him , i failed in understanding him , i failed myself . nobody else even myself thought that I could be in that situation before any of my other friends , im not pretty , im not that smart , im not cute , im not as extroverts as any introverts would be , im boring , so why 

why did we agree to this
why did i say yes 
why did we last for long
why did i have so much patience 
why did we lie to ourselves
why did we end 



i remembered when times we were. Deep down in me , the things i said didnt exactly matched with whats inside of you , waiting and waiting for something unsure , i know we both are so young but is it wrong if i waited for something unsure along with me eventhough it is not ?

is it wrong for me if i dream that we will get the excellent grades together

is it wrong me to pretend that everything is fine when i'm seeing you


am i wrong to think about this
am i wrong to to think about us
yea i sometimes forgot
if now we're over

im sorry




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