maybe we are alike

  hi it's me, it 's been awhile i wasn't going to write a blog this week, but i just had a pretty much a fun day and i would love to share it here.  i went out with my friends, probably the closest friends i have here other than my boyfriend.  we went out to eat naknak burger. probably my favourite kind of burger shops.  it's nothing remarkable to even talk about, it's just a normal day going out with friends, we eat, we talk  but somehow it might be one of my favourite days being in here.  everyone is laughing, making jokes, although on the surface it might be looking like we have nothing to worry about, with all the assignments and work and pressure and one's problem.  i just had fun today, im scared i get attached now theyre so nice, i have some nice friends but we might not be like this again, and it's part of growing up. we move to different part for ourselves i just like to kind of freeze the moment and enjoy it while i still can. one is making j...

  i realised i should be more grateful of what i have right now i have a loving mother , a loving boyfriend i love my boyfriend without forcing myself to fall in love with him its natural,  but sometimes there's a glimpse in my head of what would be my future if i hadn't leave what ifs questions always keeping me insane, i wanted those to leave, leave from my head i love my relationship right now, i am being loved, i am happy please let me keep what i have now forever, i love it this way im worried because not all good things will keep on happening to me but i pray to god, let me keep this genuine love i have and how funny is it 2 years ago i was crying, begging to be understood its the anniversary of us, and i know i don't even have to remember it  but it stuck with me, every memories, every pain, every jokes, every tears im not sure what kind of person i am, but i am definitely not gonna forget all those, not because i longed for it, it already happened to me, and it st...

  have you ever been in a situation where you could say things, explained things, but you are never been listened to ? im tired, explaining myself and never ever being listened to.  I love hard, and i would give everything, to make a person feel loved why is it so hard being in love, isn't it supposed to be a magical feeling, feel loved and give love to each other. I love hard, and i don't care what it going to cost me, getting my heart broken by a person I love I love hard, so easily. isn't it funny how people can change but never notice it themselves, they would say " no theres nothing changing ", but i noticed.  i've been here and i noticed, and it hurts because its not a good change. I'm tired, explaining myself to people to love me, over and over again, i take notes on how to love, how to make you happy is it hard to love me the same way i love you you had been nothing but listening to me listens to what i want, i love you and i listen, i understand y...

  i don't know why i wanted to write here, i wanted to talk. I just realised I havent verbally talk to anyone today.  and it somehow feels heavy, midterm test is around and i really hope i can do it well. i feel heavy, am i not being grateful of things i have, right now in my life do i keep complaining about what i want rather than being grateful of what i've  gotten but am i wrong to longed about the things i want i want to write letters, i want to receive letters i want to love someone, i want to be loved deeply i want to be pretty, i want people to think im pretty are these wrong for me to hope for ? i do not even deserve to have all of these ? i love what i  have right now, i love my boyfriend, my life but is that the way i want to be loved though ? im sorry, i just need a place to rant, and here is the safest place i can go.