maybe we are alike

IT IS MY DAYYY !!   yes syaf you already 16 hahah who would have thought . . like 16 ? 16 ?!!?! I know , we know , what we dream about last night , like literally sumpah we mimpi about abah , i know we rarely mimpi abah , but maybe that's a sign from him , that he's there watching us . Usually when we dream about something , we never could recall it right, but mine is not . I cannot remember the whole thing but i remembered me holding his hands tightly. ok i dont want to cry I received lots and lots of birthday wishes whether it's from my friends or my MOTHER'S friends , but still I am so grateful , showered with sweet , emotional wishes on my day . I've never b een this loved before. got the best mother ever , who cooks for me so that I will eat at least once a day , g ot these beautiful friends , mai , weena , mary , daun and other pretty people that I couldn't write all their names here , you have no idea how your words made my day , I've never feel loved...

tolong  jaga diri  jaga hati apa jadi dengan harini kalau takut dengan hari esok hari esok tak semestinya apa yang kita jangka kadang-kadang elok kadang-kadang tidak                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            ...

 is it okay if i want to kill myself

  maybe things would work out if I understand you better maybe things would work out if I took part in your life maybe things would work out if I tried new things , making me look attractive for some reason maybe things would work out if I had my patience , waiting for at least a response maybe things would  work out if I had not listened to whatever they said , they made fun of me maybe things would work out if I understand you better , giving you space we had been together for a long time , I would say  back then my thoughts were like " maybe he was bored with me " , " maybe he didn't like me so much anymore " or " maybe he didn't like me at the first place pun , syaf you yang perasan  "  but now my thoughts are " maybe he was going through something with his family and he didn't want to tell me for some unknown reasons " , " maybe he's waiting for the right time to tell me but then he became annoyed because I kept on pushi...