maybe we are alike

 hi it's me i haven't blog that much throughout the year,  many things happened, many things i could've written, but i didn't It is getting harder now to pour my heart and my thoughts out in here Sometimes i feel like- what's the point anyway 2025 is really really a long year for me, I feel like everything is going by too fast, not waiting for me even for a second. I feel rushed but that's how it is, that's life God, it's a lot. Remembering what had happened makes me feel a little weird, sad , anxious, happy and hopeless at the same time. I don't want to write things that already happened here, just some life lessons I've learn throughout the year     1. Emotions are complicated, weird at times.  First you feel like you are holding in every anger in your body to a person for no reason, Second you feel bad , guilty , and questioning yourself if you are crazy. Sometimes you think about a person you loved and wish that everything is hopefully going ...

 hi, it's me  it's been awhile since Ive blogged To be honest, i am doing worse than I thought i would be. I thought after getting my scholarship, my life would be... happier(?), at peace(?),  Most of the time, i feel empty. I dont have the motivation to do the best as the reason why i worked so hard before is to somehow get good grades and get a scholarship. now when i am one, ... now what my life is already planned out and as exciting it is, I feel somewhat weird,  anxious. To do the best in something for internship opportunities? i already know where, im obligated to. to do the best to find work ? i am bonded with them  i know i sound like i am ungrateful little bitch, but im just taking a step back to actually realised that life is so weird. i thought when i already got the thing i want the most i be happier, at peace, happy. but turns out it left me out feeling, empty, no motivation, no where to go, no plan to plans, just follow things that already planned ...