maybe we are alike

a year that everything seems relatively fine  hi it's me  not too long since I'd posted the last blog . My December is totally not the same as the other previous months but I am totally grateful and love every single seconds of mine. Let's just  think about what had happened throughout this year I entered my 2021 with a broken heart . Literally 9 hours before 2021 but I ain't gonna complain about that . A whole month was-- just me trying to accept things ( which I totally failed ), a healing time I would say . I am totally not remember what else happened but January was a disaster  February - still a healing time . The times where I had to say goodbye to my old classmates , 3 Amanah . Words can't describe how much do I miss all of you and all the moments we had. 3 years of ups and downs , trying to figure out what I'm suppose to do . What we supposed to do . The vibe was different , everything is different now . Is it due to our age ? Are we matured enough ? I d...

  hey it's me 2:58 pm  alone in my dark room just having these intrusive thoughts  a year  i was trying to accept things but my efforts just broke in a short amount of time i got whats mine back but this is where im at the point where  i realised  it's hurt my feelings so damn much if I work hard to keep you im at the point where I just wanna give up i love you but i dont think you do you put the blame on me just cause i was too rushed in making decisions oh come on

hey it's me a week after all of these happened I am still wondering is this the right way I supposed to go is this the right time for me to keep it all to myself  is this the right choice I've made  It's not because I don't believe with you I am confused  Am I deserved this  I've seen the ending before with the same person , same old feelings Definitely grows on me more , I appreciate what you have done to me  I'm just afraid , i am indeed scared I'll ruin my second chance for something stupid trust me , I'm holding on for my dear life my love tried my best to fit in but my attachment issues are not getting better im sorry i'll try my best  try my best i just wanna be loved just wanna be loved  My friends will talk shit but I guess they'll never know Maybe I am being too dramatic no I am being dramatic im sorry honestly i think  I am no good for you I feel like shit every single time  not knowing what can i do to keep you i'd talked to some o...

 i don't know what i get myself into is this a right or wrong way did i deserve this is that so easy for me to let it all go ? i dont think anyone would 

You stared at me with those lifeless eyes, but I saw some kind of light in them. Maybe it was just my imagination , my mind playing tricks on my vision , but I still had hope that maybe you weren't a lost cause . That maybe , just maybe , there was a way to save you. But people say that eyes are the way to a person's soul . And I didn't want to believe that your soul was just as empty and dead as your eyes were .

hello , it's me .  It's the end of the year  almost one I'm feeling a bit emotional these days ( specifically today ) It's nothing , i guess but  you know you can lie to the whole world , but you can't lie to yourself right ? I just realized ,  all I ever have to do is to accept things Acceptance  It didn't work out even you put so much effort or so much love  The thing in life is you won't always get what you want to  Maybe He got a better plan yep , that's it , what I am going to do now is to accept.  My whole year is basically a phase of me trying to understand that things sometimes don't work out .  I don't understand it till now I even tried to congratulate myself every single month  pretending that everything is okay  just like normal  and nothing is wrong I don't even know what is my fault Which part of me that you didn't like I can change , i even said if theres anything i could do to fix this , i will Was it my fault t...