maybe we are alike

that's when she finally realized that she was holding hands with a memory rather than the person she once thought was the love of her life.  champagne problems. I'm posting this line repeatedly . I don't know why but it seems to be the best sentence to end my September I am not ready for October . I am still counting months without or with . For what? I don't know , don't ask me.  we were so worried about what is going to happen next without realizing that we're exactly in the middle part of what we used to worry. And I knew this . I knew it . I knew that the best decision for me is to let go , let go of all these people , let them go , let him go . He probably thinking that I am such a problem to his life and assume me as a weird-cant-moved-on-girl-who-is-so-stupid . And I knew. I know exactly what I'm supposed to do . But here I am . Mentally healing , physically a lot smaller than before . Is it okay if I consider myself to heal ? Probably no but the ri...

 hello , its me i hope everyone is doing alright, feeling okay Its been a month since i updated my last blog nothing interesting happenss yet well . .  i dont know what is interesting to me anymore , for real today i heard some news ,  one of them shocked me , pretty sure it doesnt involve me in it  but i feel  hurt  in a place or in a situation that I am not in but it is close to me I dont know if it even matters to me  i dont know but it seems like , everyday i have to keep reminding myself that not everything in this world I could get or I could have. Maybe the ones that left will bring the other ones that will fill my days with , together . I lost my loved ones way before I understand what life is, way before I understand what lost means , and it's traumatizing for little me , maybe because I dont have anyone to talk to at that time so I will just pretend that that is fine . .  which is not fine , oh god im crying , over the years i grew up...